Life in the TARDIS Coffee Shop
by Jack HasSpareTime
Summary: This AU goes through the various (reboot) Doctors and companions as workers at the Tastiness and Relative Delectabilities in Sweetness Coffee Shop. Only rated K to be safe. It starts with Nine and Rose. Other characters make appearances too.
1. Nine and Rose (Part 1)

One cold London day, Rose Tyler was sitting in a crowded TARDIS (Tastiness And Relative Delectabilities In Sweetness) coffee shop. She was on her way to her job at the department store downtown. It had been a rather boring year, nothing much had changed. There had been her break-up with Mickey, but that was months ago. She'd found him too clingy.

_Maybe I'll meet a chap like in one of Mum's novels._ she thought.

"Rose Tyler?" called the man from behind the counter.

She stood up and went to grab her coffee. The man holding the cup was grinning ear to ear (both of which were rather large). "Here you go, Rose."

"Thank you," she said, accepting the cup. "Is that leather jacket a part of the uniform?"

He laughed,"No, but the big ears are." He wiggled them.

She laughed. "I suppose i could live with that."

"Oi!" yelled someone. Rose turned around, it was Mickey. "Quit flirting and let the man do his job."

She smiled, "Speaking of jobs- find one?"

Mickey looked sheepish. "Not yet."

Rose and the barista laughed."I'm the Doctor, by the way," he said. "Say- I like you, Rose Tyler. Would you like a job?"

"Oh I don't know..."

"I pay £12.62 an hour."

That was double her current salary (AKA minimum wage). "When can I start?"

Rose quit her job when she went to work that morning. She started her new job that afternoon. Actually, she showed up early, at about 3 o'clock. "Ready for orientation!"

"Nice shirt," the Doctor said.

She looked down at her shirt with a giant Union Jack on it. "I'm just taking it for a spin."

He smiled and patted the counter. "Come on back!"

When the Doctor smiled, she couldn't help but laugh. Rose walked behind the counter. "Okay, show me the ropes."

He showed her the machines and how to work them. The way he talked about them, you'd think they were his family. When he tried to demonstrate and the machine broke, he simply pulled out a screwdriver and fixed it.

"Do you always carry that around with you?"

"Yep. That's why they call me 'the Doctor'. I fix everything. Didn't start with me actually. Every manager since some old guy named William back in the sixties has been called that. It's tradition."

"Interesting," she said, not sounding quite interested.

"Hey! I love tradition. It's like a little bit of the past in the present."

"Well when you put it like that-" Rose was cut off by somebody's entrance (which was rather dramatic, the old-military styled long coat had that effect)

"There's your first customer," said the Doctor. He turned to the customer and waved. "Hello!"

"What do you gotta do to get a coffee around here?" The man leaned against the bar like he was ordering something a bit stronger than coffee.

"Just ask Rose." The Doctor gestured to his new companion.

"Ah, Rose. So get me a large coffee, put a little cream on it, and make it frothy."

"Coming right up." She popped a cup into her hand. "And who is this for?"

"The name is Jack Harkness. Captain."

"Coming right up then, Captain."

Another woman walked in. She was beautiful, for her age, blonde hair, blue eyes, a bit heavy on the make-up though.

"One caramel frappe please. For Cassandra. Make it snappy." She snapped in Rose's face for emphasis.

"Well then," said Rose. "One caramel frappe, snappy," she called to the Doctor.

"On it!" He turned around and she tossed him a cup. _I think I'm really going to like this place._ Rose thought.

Long after Cassandra had left, Jack Harkness still sat in the cafe with his coffee. Rose was wiping down the table next to him, and they were talking. Somehow, the subject turned to dancing.

"Does your friend know how?" Jack pointed at the Doctor.

"Nope," replied the Doctor.

Jack stood up and took Rose's hand. "May I have this dance?"

Rose laughed,"Of course."

They whirled through the empty cafe as the Doctor looked on. He had turned up the music that was constantly softly playing through some of the shops speakers. Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves. Then went the little ting-a-ling of the entry bell and the dancing stopped.

It was a businessman, in suit and tie. His head was balding, near complete, and he appeared to be in a rush. The Doctor went behind the counter, "What can I get you, Pete?"

Rose whirled around, "Dad?"

The man looked at her "Afraid not. I don't have any children."

"Sorry, it's just that... you look like my dad, even the same name. He left us ages ago though... Sorry."

"It's alright."

"Pete here is a regular," said the Doctor. "The usual I take it?"

He sighed,"Yup."

The Doctor went back to making coffee. Jack turned to Rose. "Your father left you?"

"Yeah."

"His loss."

The second Pete left the shop, the dancing resumed. The Doctor turned up the stereo that played music through the store. Jack would sing along, and rather badly, which only caused them to laugh more. Sometime later, the song "Counting Stars" came on. "Oh I love this song!" said the Doctor. He started to dance out from behind the counter.

_Lately I've been I've been losing sleep, dreaming about the things that we could be. _

_But baby I've been I've been praying hard, said no more counting dollars we'll be counting stars._

"I thought you said you couldn't dance," said Rose.

"I guess I can." He grinned and pulled Rose close, dancing with her.

_Yeah we'll be counting... Stars._

When the instrumental hit, the Doctor twirled her, then broke away. He started dancing like a total dork, and then sang along.

"I see this life, like a swinging vine swing my heart across the line. In my face is flashing signs, seek it out and ye shall find. OH but I'm not that old. Young but I'm not that bold. And I don't think the world is sold, I'm just doing what we're told. I-i-i-i-i-"

Rose couldn't take it anymore, that note made her burst into fits of laughter. "What's so funny?" the Doctor asked.

"You're tone deaf," said Jack.

In a rather childish manner, the Doctor crossed his arms and stuck his tongue out at Jack. "You're just jealous."

"Yes, I'm in awe of your skill," said Jack sarcastically. He looked at the clock. It was five. "Well look, it's been fun but I've got to go, see you some other time."

Jack left. Three other people came in, followed by a group of five.

"Rose, it looks like we're about to get busy," said the Doctor. "Are you ready?"

"Let's do it," said Rose, already holding a cup.


	2. Nine and Rose (Part 2)

**The Whipped Cream War**

"One hot cocoa. Skim milk. Whipped cream on top and to go please."

"Coming right up!" said the Doctor chipperly, then went to make the drink.

Rose stood next to him, minding her own business on the slow day. Tables were clean and dishes done and only the single customer remained. Boredom must have been why she felt the need to help the Doctor with a single, simple drink. She ducked down to the cabinets to grab whipped cream from the more temperature-controlled area. As she stood up, the Doctor tried to grab the bottle from her, but his hand squeezed the nozzle, spraying the substance in her face.

"Oh it's on now," she teased. The Doctor started to laugh but suddenly was met with a burst of whipped cream.

He ducked down and grabbed another canister, aiming it at Rose. "You can stop this now."

She pretended to consider it, then fired at will. He went back at her too, and they ended up having a full-out war. Once they ran out in their cans, they'd scoop it off the counters and hurl it at each other like snowballs. Rose got a big handful and held it ready as she charged the Doctor, who ran right back at her with just as much ready.

They collided and both slipped, the Doctor landing on top of her as they lie there in a massive puddle of whipped cream. Both were breathing heavy, exhausted. They stared into each other's eyes and-

"Eh hem." The customer pretended to clear her throat.

The Doctor turned slightly red around those big ears of his but stood up, straightening his coat a bit as he did. He grabbed the hot (now cold) chocolate off of the counter, where it somehow had remained unscathed, and handed it to the customer. "Here you are ma'am." He gave one of his trademark grins that was both sarcastic and genuine.

The customer left in a huff, and the Doctor watched as she he felt the tiny impact of whipped cream on the back of his neck. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I win," declared Rose.

"Is that so?" he said, scooping more off the counter.

They went at it for several more minutes, but then Rose slipped up (literally). The Doctor went to the ground too, once again on top of her, this time pinning her arms to the ground. "I win."

"Not really. " Rose then proceeded to do something so quick the Doctor didn't see it, but it ended with him on his back and her sitting on his chest.

"How did you do that?"

"I got the bronze." She smiled, stood up, took a rag, and began cleaning the whipped cream off the counters.

**The Botox and Boe**

Cassandra, an older lady who had obviously gone through a lot of plastic surgery, was a regular at the TARDIS coffee shop. She typically caused no trouble.

Typically.

Boe, a rare but recurring and interesting patron, sat in his usual corner table. A lot of people were drawn to the old man when he graced that cafe with his presence. Patrons would come and sit anywhere they could to listen to his stories. Today, somewhere around a dozen people surrounded his little spot, listening intently as he told the stories of his fighting in the Vietnam War back when he lived in America.

"So my friend has been shot dead, and I'm holding his body in my arms, and-"

"Pardon me," Cassandra's voice purred. "But who cares?"

"I do," chimed in another female customer.

"As do I," Rose supported from behind the counter.

"Well, obviously, you would, with your lackluster intelligence."

"Maybe you ought to go," suggested the Doctor.

"Maybe I ought to stay," she smiled. "Maybe I ought to tell my story." Cassandra pushed the elderly Boe off of his chair and took his seat. "Now listen here everyone. This is a story of beauty, and it being snatched away."

The story-listeners left instantaneously. Her words held n interest for them. The only one remaining was the girl so interested in Boe. She was helping him off the floor now, while Cassandra told her story to nobody.

Both Rose and the Doctor rushed from behind the table to assist also. "Don't you worry, Boe," assured the Doctor quietly. "We'll get her for this."

"Doctor, this is childish!" yelled the girl who liked Boe's story, whose name they learned to be Jabe.

"Of course it is! That's what makes it a good plan!" He beamed.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked Rose, even though she thought it was a fantastic idea.

"Yup."

Jabe sat next to Boe in the shop, and he spoke to her, only her, in wordsand stories no one else could hear. Cassandra of course, walked in at 8:00 am, as usual. She eyed the two with disgust before approaching the counter and placing her order. "One black coffee for today," she said to Rose.

"Anything else?"/span/span/p

"No." Cassandra handed Rose exact change and set her purse on a table. "Watch it," she snapped.

Rose nodded and Cassandra sauntered off to the bathroom in the back of the shop, flipping her hair as if she were a defiant teenager (in actuality, she looked incredibly silly doing so).

The second the door shut behind her, the Doctor hopped over the counter and went to Cassandra's purse. He took out the bottle of lotion she carried with her everywhere and poured a small amount of some sort of substance in it. He then shook the bottle, put it back in it's spot, and ran back over behind the counter.

Jabe winked at him and he winked back. Rose felt a little pang of jealousy but said nothing. She merely set the now ready cup of coffee on the counter.

Cassandra came out of the bathroom and snatched the cup off the counter and sat down. Just as the Doctor suspected she would, she took out her lotion and rubbed it all over her hands. Then, as they had not expected, she rubbed it into her face too.

Nothing happened.

Rose looked at the Doctor worriedly. "Wait for it," he said, grinning that impossible grin.

All four of them, Boe, Jabe, Rose, and the Doctor, stared at Cassandra.

"Is there something on my face?" she asked.

Another random patron spoke. "Um, miss? Your face is turning green."

"Green! What-" In an outraged she stomped off to the bathroom. Everyone cringed at the scream. "DEAR GOD MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!"

"That'll teach her to bully an old man," said Jabe, satisfied.

Rose and the Doctor were trying very hard not to laugh as Cassandra stormed back through the cafe, picked up her bag and coffee, and ran out the door. The second she did, though, they collapsed into giggles together. "I guess you could say she was- green with envy!" laughed the Doctor.

**The Little Cut**

Rose scooped up the bucket of dishes and started to turn around when she fell. Cups and plates and silverware went everywhere, a good portion of it hitting her face.

The Doctor popped up out of nowhere like some sort of big-eared prairie dog. "Are you okay, Rose?"

"Oh I um just uh... the floor was slippery and well-"

"Your lip is bleeding," observed the Doctor as he helped her up.

"It's just a little cut."

"A little cut! Oh no no no. Rose Tyler, I think you need a Doctor." He paused for a moment, as if slightly unsure, then leaned in and kissed her. Only for a few seconds though, and then he took a step back.

"That's your best line?" Rose laughed.

The Doctor looked away sheepishly, and Rose turned him back to face her. They stood there for a moment, before Rose pulled him down for another kiss.

The customers cheered and hooted around them and they sprung apart, embarrassed. Rose blushed. She looks so adorable when she does that. thought the Doctor.

"I better pick this up," said Rose.

"I'll help you."


	3. Chapter 3- Under New Management

"Why are we decorating already? Halloween ended last week."

"Because this is how capitalism works, Rose... and our shipment of mint flavoring came early. Now help me get this tree inside."

They were unloading Christmas decorations from the Doctor's truck. The Doctor was holding out a box about 5 feet long that held a faux Christmas tree. Rose took one end and together they carried it through the front door into the shop. It was about 4 am, because the shop opened at 5.

"To the left," said the Doctor once they were inside the door.

Rose stopped walking backwards. "Mine or yours?"

"Yours."

They turned and then set the box down. The Doctor brushed off his hands. "Right then." He grinned. "I'll go grab the rest of the decorations, and you can put up the tree."

Rose crouched down and opened the box. Just as the Doctor turned to go out the door, in walked 4 men wearing brown suits.

"Are you the Doctor?" asked one of them.

"Well I should very much like to think I am," he replied.

"We are associates sent by Mr. Dalek."

"What are you here for then? I paid the rent! And I didn't tell anyone"

"Doctor what's going on? Who are these people?" asked Rose, stepping to his side.

"They're Dalek's. They're part of the corporation that owns the building." He turned back to them. "I'm not leaving."

"Then you will be removed by force." One of the men pulled out a small device that resembled a thin whisk and from it shot an electric light. It hit the Doctor square in the chest. Rose tried to catch him as he slumped to the floor.

"What did you do?" she yelled at them. "He didn't do anything wrong!"

"Ms. Tyler, I'm going to have to ask you to step back."

That just encouraged her to step forward. She stood toe to toe with the head man and spoke calmly, but with a clear rage behind it. "I won't let you lay a finger on him."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Tyler." He and his comrades pushed past her and picked up the Doctor.

"No!" She beat on them with her fists and kicked them in the shins but nothing seemed to stop them from dragging the Doctor out the door and into a van. They drove off.

The police had been no help. She'd even called Jack and Boe to see if either of them knew anything. Nada. Zero. A big ol' goose egg.

She didn't know why she found herself walking by the shop three days later, but she did know that the sign should be flipped to "Closed" not "Open".

Rose sighed and took out her store key. She went to unlock the door to go in and flip the sign, but she found that the door was already unlocked. Cautiously, she stepped into the shop. The lights were on, and a single patron sat at the table.

Out of the kitchen walked a man tying an apron around his waist. "Oh hello, Rose!" he exclaimed.

She stared at this man who was clearly not him. He had dark brown eyes and spiked up lighter brown hair and lacked big ears. "Who are you?" she asked.

"I'm the Doctor," replied the man, smiling. 


End file.
